Or who would you compare them to?
As i get older I feel like I’m developing backwards. I’ve always assumed that getting older means having more responsibilites, being mature, creating structure for yourself, having a routine, and basically being every adult I ever saw in the movies. You know, those adults that wake up in the morning to make their kids breakfast, make themselves coffee, and then commute into town to sit at a desk in a super fabulous suit and talk business all day. Even in college I always imagined myself as this girl who would sit at her desk for hours enveloped in her textbooks and lecture notes. But the reality is….it’s not my reality. I’m not this person. I’m the complete opposite. As much as I’d like to be this uber productive human being, unfortunately, I feel like my actions are still those of an uninspired teenager. I’d rather sleep in till Noon and lay in bed cruising the internet and watching stuff on netflix all day. The thing that bothers me is that I wasn’t like this before. Now that Spring Break is here I vow to do a couple of things, some that will hopefully turn into daily habits and others that will just get me out of the house.
1. Wake up early just because.
2. Go biking every Sunday.
3. Finish reading that book i bought over winter break “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman
4. Go out for walks….and take my dog with me.
5. Save Money for a future adventure.
6. Invite friends out for lunch.
7. Go to the Gym more routinely.
8. Eat out less. Cook more at home.
9. Study a subject I didn’t do so well at in school.
Maybe someone could suggest a number 10. Something that makes for a better quality of life. Something fun. Something free. Anything. :)
That week was in itself an absolute high. I had never felt so free and so radiant before. There was this tension between us. A longing to know each other better on a formal level but also on an intimate level. I blushed in disbelief as I caught him gazing at me with such awe at the dinner table. As if I had been the object of his affection for some time and finally I had been in his presence. It took him a minute to realize he had been caught and he carried on, quite embarrassed I imagine. Inside I giggled, completely and utterly entranced by the feeling of flattery. I lightly dismissed any idea or playful thought of us together but I couldn’t dismiss what was to come.
That night the sky was illuminated by the millions of stars and the bright moon, and under that, music tickled our ears and alcohol made us move! I couldn’t ignore what had happened at the restaurant and I was determined to have one dance with him. If I couldn’t have him, I could at the very least have a dance. He had run off with a bottle of rum near the front of the stage and his mother was worried he’d get too drunk. This was my cue. I volunteered to go retrieve the liquor as an excuse to be a little closer than I knew we would ever be allowed. I grabbed his sister and we weaved through the crowd until we spotted him. I tapped him on the shoulder and smiled. Told him his mom was worried about his alcohol consumption and how she wanted the bottle. He laughed and made a small comment about his mother, took a large swig and gave me the bottle. I tossed the bottle back to his sister and without a second thought, I asked him to dance.
The bachata played and we danced in the small space that we had available. But I felt as if we fit so perfectly into each others embrace. And as the music played on our bodies inched closer and closer together. He held me and he twirled me and his hips moved with mine. And for a moment it was magical but I knew I had to get back. The music stopped and I smiled at him and gave him a hug. Once again I grabbed his, noticeably annoyed sister and headed away from the crowd and when I looked back he was trailing behind us.
TO BE CONTINUED…
When it comes to getting things done, don’t count on me. Unless, you’re holding an assault weapon, then maybe we can work something out. But, no, really I have a serious problem with procrastination. It all starts from the moment I wake up. Unlike most people, I wake up pretty happy. Then again, most people have jobs that require them to get ready at the butt crack of dawn and I’m not most people. So, i wake up happy and the first thing I tell myself is
"Eileen, you gotta get up brush your teeth, make breakfast, remember you’re starting that diet so you cannot skip out on breakfast."
But then my dog hears me wake up and she comes to say hi and omg she’s so cute the way she stretches her little paws out for me to just pick her up and place her on the bed with me! And I think to myself,
"well, a couple of minutes cuddling with this little doll isn’t gonna hurt."
Only it does hurt because by the time i look at the clock I only have 30 mins to get ready, which isn’t enough for me to look my absolute best for the day.
Oh and don’t even get me started on test week! Usually I put all of my upcoming tests on my google calendar and I put alerts for the week or day prior to the test. Sort of to just remind me
"hey lady! Get to studying!"
I usually divide up the test material for everyday of the week leading up to the test which would prepare me beyond satisfaction but then I get home and I’m like,
"Oh heeeeeyy bed! You missed me? I missed you too."
"Oh hheeeeey interwebz! New episode of AHS: coven?! Aww but I have to study. What? New episode of Scandal? I don’t even know what that is but okay."
And like Batman always just appears out of the shadows, so does my test. I end up cramming, I NEVER get through all of the material, and by the day of the test I look like a walking dead zombie who just happened to overdose on coffee. Consequently, I end up being a C average student.
Procrastination is soooo bad, but why does it feel soooo goooooood?!